Dream Update: PhD
Hey Fellow Dream Warriors!
I know I have been in ministry mode for awhile on the series, “I am Redeemed!”. God willing, I will finish that series in two posts. However, I want to share about my progress in “fighting for my dream!” The past few years this blog has turned into a ministry outlet. I vented the pain of my soul, the revelations from the Holy Spirit, and observations from my spirit. During this wonderful time, I have seen God develop my dreams like a fetus in a mother’s womb. And boy am I pregnant! I will start with my oldest fetus, my Ph.D.
Well dreamers, I am ABD aka All But Dissertation. I am surprised I am still in this program, given I knew exactly what I wanted to do when I entered the program (fuel cell/alternative energy research). I thought I would have finished at least 2 years ago, but God had other plans. I will touch on the why in a moment. I had an tragic PhD proposal defense. It was like the Titanic meets Million Dollar Baby crossed with the Rodney King beating. June 25th, 2010 I confidently present my Ph.D. topic to my esteemed committee. Mind you, I had spent 3 years developing the idea and gathering data. I know that I know this idea is Ph.D. material as outlined by the department of Mechanical Engineering at Georgia Tech. I had done all the literature review, talked to industry experts, and presented to academicians in the field whom all agreed this was a novel topic. Well, little did I know, I had built a Titanic of an idea, and my committee lay in wait as the proverbial iceberg.
My 1st PhD topic shared the same fate as the Titanic
On the infamous day of June 25th, 2010, I had the most beautiful time in prayer that morning. I wept from my soul. Yes, I wept pent up tears. It dawned on my how far I had come since the “Great Depression” some 2.5 years prior. God showed me how He rebuilt me. I had peace with the day knowing that I had already had achieved a great accomplishment–coming back from a Hell experience. I walk into my room 109 of the Love building. My friends had already started to arrive to show support. It touched my heart to see them. God knew I would need their bright faces to weather the dark storm which was to come.
One by one my committee comes in to the theme music of Darth Vader. I pull out my light saber of a laser pointer and wage war to defend my topic.
My Ph.D. committee
Now usually, Luke Skywalker prevails in the Ph.D. proposal as the force of his Jedi masters aka Ph.D. advisors are supposed to thwart any attack of the dark side. Well, that did not happen. And, I was left to fight Darth Vader and his cohorts alone. I put up a galiant fight, but I could not save my Titantic of a PhD topic. 3 years of research destroyed in a matter of 90 minutes.
I felt ambushed much like Rodney King. Like Rodney, I felt betrayed by a system that was supposed to protect me and have my well being in mind.
My Ph.D. proposal experience
Only my relationship with Jesus held me together. God reminded me that Judas and Peter betrayed and denied Jesus when His accusers showed up. And God used that situation to glorify Jesus and Himself. I went to be with my parents the following week in Mississippi. It was weird going “home” to Mississippi as my parents had moved there from Ohio 3 months prior. I still consider Ohio home no matter how long my parents live in Mississippi. I love Ohio and am proud to be from there. I still root for all their sports teams, follow the news, and pray for the conditions there. At any rate, while in Mississippi, God spoke to me the idea for a new Ph.D. topic. On my drive back to Atlanta, He outlined the equations and steps needed to finish the Ph.D.
Fast forward 9 months to April 1, 2011 and I marched in front of the firing squad again. I had communicated with my Ph.D. committee multiple times and had implemented their feedback into this new idea. They were on board and this defense was a mere formality. Well, I learned the lesson Clint Eastwood said to Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby, “Always keep your guard up in the ring.”
My 2nd Ph.D. proposal attempt
I presented my topic in championship form and on way back to my corner, I got sucker punched from behind. My idea was rejected, but could be accepted if I rewrote my Ph.D. proposal. The news did not break my neck like million dollar baby, but instead broke my spirit. I literally snapped. My grace to be nice, kind, and submitted had run out with my two co-advisors. No more Christian Chris who is calm, lamb-like in the image of Jesus. I turned into Jesus in the temple meets Dirty Harry. I demanded my co-advisors fix it. I was so frustrated because I had did every feasible thing they had asked me to do. I made a decision to not hide my passion and feelings anymore. We finally got through it 7 weeks later. I was so pissed! My advancing to official Ph.D. candidacy aka ABD was so anti-climatic. My heart never truly had joy.
Though the 11 months it took me to get through my Ph.D. proposal was very difficult, it was worth it. Why was it worth it? It served as a tool to witness to others. I felt others gained more from watching me walk with Christ through that endeavor. People marveled at my faith and how I never doubted God once and remained faithful to Him and Christlike. Members of a men’s Bible study that I lead were so encouraged and encouraging. They knew how bad I wanted to move on from this Ph.D. and get to the next season of life. However, they reminded of the “fruit” I had bore in their lives. They expressed a gratitude in having fellowshipped with me during this time. Their words touched me with the essence of God’s presence. After accepting God’s will for my life, which was to not only finish my Ph.D., but minister to men, I began to realize the fullness of God’s dream for my life. Though I will obtain degrees, build businesses, write books, and change the world, I will never stop building His kingdom everywhere I go. I have a call to build the church as an apostle.
It's all about Jesus! He da man! 
I desire to spread the message of Jesus Christ and create entities to accomplish that. At Georgia Tech, it is through Men’s Bible study called, C.O.D.E. (Christian Organization of Dynamic Engineers). In truth, every door God opens for me whether in education, business, family, or personal life, it is an opportunity to glorify Jesus. In the end, that is the only thing that will matter.
Well dreamers, that is enough for now. Until the next time, keep fighting for your dream!
