I am Redeemed! Part 2:Redeeming Relationships
Last Spring, I decided to grade papers in Piedmont Park. On this particularly beautiful day, the wind was gusting causing the fallen leaves to dance like a twirling ballerina. Across from the bench where I was sitting, was a small meadow with a father and toddler son playing in the fallen leaves. With every gust of wind, the little boy would try to dance with the leafy ballerina. With every failed attempt to grasp the twirling leaves, the father would catch his son in a welcoming hug. Three times, our ambitious minute hero fell. And each time, the father would pick up the son. One more time the boy fell, but this time the father did not pick him up . Instead, he reached out his hand. At first the little boy looked at his father’s outstretched hand as if to say, “What’s that for?” Then, without thinking, the little boy reached his little hand toward the strong hand of his father. And with his hand safely in his father’s hand, the little boy stood to his feet. The father then slowly walked through the meadow. The father laid patient steps taking only one step after his son took a step. Soon, the son and father were distant like a forgotten dream.
In observing the father and son in Piedmont Park, I reflected on God’s redemptive power in redeeming our relationship with Him. In God’s heavenly model for redemptions, there exist a replicate model on earth for all other relationships. In Part 2 of this series, “I am Redeemed!”, I will discuss the A.C.T. process of redeeming our relationship with God, ourselves, and others. The A.C.T. process is a three step process consisting of Acceptance, Confession, and Trust.
Acceptance
In Genesis 4:2-6 God speaks to Cain about the importance of acceptance.
2Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
6 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Oftentimes, believers struggle in their relationship with God. There are feelings of being unworthy or not accepted by God. They “feel judged by God.” At times they will toil, like Cain, giving a fearful offering to God of their time, talent, and resources. They grow frustrated in their relationship with God. As a result, they wallow in sin that once crouched at their door. They have succumbed to temptation. And their dedication to God then dwindles to religious periodic activities. There is no daily fellowship with God. There are untold number of church goers who don’t read the Bible daily. When I taught Sunday School, I would poll my teenage students on the frequency of their Bible study and prayer. Approximately, 2/10 would read the Bible everyday, and 9/10 would pray everyday.While I was glad to hear of their “thriving” prayer life, but I was troubled by their infrequent attention to the scriptures. As a scientist, I recognize my sample size is too small to consider statistically meaningful. I can, however, extrapolate these findings to get an indication of what’s going on in the lives of most Christians. People will pray everyday (counting grace as prayer), but will neglect reading the Bible. How can we know God’s voice without reading or hearing His word. Many people don’t know that God loves them and how to be acceptable to Him because of lack of spiritual knowledge. People are perishing in their relationship with God because of biblical ignorance (Hosea 4:6). Let’s be clear about one thing, God’s love for us is unconditional, but His acceptance of us is conditional. Hebrews 6:11 states that without faith, it is impossible to please God. We are acceptable to God through faith in Jesus. We invoke our acceptance when we present ourselves to Him through the blood of Jesus.
A key step to redeeming your other relationships is to be in right standing and understanding with God. We are in right standing when we have made Jesus our Lord and Savior. We have right understanding with God will realize that righteousness only comes through faith in Jesus and the redemptive work of His blood. If you are having a hard time forgiving yourself or others, then you need to check our faith. When the Holy Spirit shows you or reminds you of the magnitude of what Jesus did and how unworthy you are of grace, then you will be convicted. You say, “How dare I hold ought against another?” How profane can we get in the deception of self-righteousness! There is such a lack of reverence for what Jesus did on the cross. Sometimes, we need to watch the gruesome crucifixion scene in the movie, Passion of the Christ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFlBg6saEDc). Isaiah 53 and the gospels accounts of His cruxificion sometimes don’t penetrate the soul. Jesus was tortured! He took every lash, every nail, every taunt for one simple reason. So that we might have a relationship with His Father. This thought alone causes me to fall on my knees in gratitude and worship.
Jesus accepted all of our sin without guarantee that we would accept Him or His Father. This model must be applied to our relationships. Do we accept the other person sin and all? If love covers a multitude of sin, then where’s the love? The reason we are not seeing redemption in our relationships is because we are not accepting each other. You can accept someone and not tolerate their sin. You can love them unconditionally and live out your convictions. We are to judge fruit and not the person. We judge the fruit so we can intercede and love. Telling someone that they are going to Hell is not an effective tactic to winning souls. Overwhelming them with love like the Father does for us is most effective. Allow the Holy Spirit to minister to them through your love.
In accepting a person, we give God freedom to move on your heart and allow redemption to begin in that relationship. Acceptance is a quality of love called long-suffering. Acceptance allows love to be inhaled into the relationship. Acceptance allows for God to renew your mind and relationship. In time, you can calmly smooth out issues or have a perspective change.
Confession
When there is breakdown in relationships, Satan uses the strife to graft layers of deception over top of the love foundation of the relationship. If left to linger, then the foundation of love is soon forgotten. We forgot why we love that person. Then, distance takes residence where love and connection once ruled. The Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another. We view this scripture to pertain to offenses against the 10 commandments. However, we don’t realize that Jesus gave us a new commandant of love. When we violate this commandment, we must confess it to those we have not love. We repent by going back to that person and apologizing for not showing them love. Then, you repent by showing them love, in deed and truth. You confess love. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love will cover the grafted layers of deception implanted by Satan. Love will conqueror that deception. Soon, that relationship is healed and stronger than it was originally. A redeemed relationship is powerful. Once the power of Jesus has destroyed the works of Satan in a relationship, that relationship cannot be defeated.
Trust
So many relationships are struggling because trust has been broken. We struggle in our relationship with God when we don’t trust Him. A lack of trust is a evidence of an abundance of fear in the relationship. Fear, like faith, is viral and evolutionary. It spreads quickly without the host realizing it. If unattended, will create negative mental strongholds that cause the person to evolve into a fear driven person in relationships. Fear is masked through anger, contentiousness, and emotional detachment. Trust cannot be established until fear is identified and conquered. Identifying fear is the toughest part because of emotions that fuel it’s fire. The only way for fear to be conquered is through loving that person and giving them room to grow. The room of growth is filled with patience, specific prayer, scripture meditation and declaration, and practicing new behavior in line with faith.
In closing, redeeming relationships takes time. It could take weeks to years before a relationship is redeemed. What does redemption look like? A relationship that is rooted and grounded in love where acceptance, honesty, and trust is able to thrive. Faith in Jesus and obedience to His commandment to love God and others facilitates the redemption process. I pray that God will guide you in redeeming your relationships according to His will.
Until the next time, keep fighting for your dream!
