As I stood outside of my French doors which marked the entrance into my office, I felt as if I were Jesus looking at the gates of Hell moments after His death on the cross. I realized my office was not an office, but rather a cemetery of dead dreams, relationships, ministries, and businesses that died in 2008 and prior. Papers, books, business and ministry plans, files, folders, pictures, and many other shards were scattered on the floor, bookcases, chair, and desk. A place that had once been my sanctuary of thought and contemplation, where G0d would speak to clearly to me, was now a haven of disorder, chaos, and obvious demonic activity. I began to see the entire year of 2008 flash before my eyes and the events of 2007 that led up to 2008 being the year of resurrection. Like Jesus, my soul experienced the fiery inferno of Hell and my office served as the tomb where my crucified body had lain. Also like Jesus, a woman discovered the resurrected me at the entrance of my tomb-like office. My dear friend, Superwoman, entered into the gates of hell and pulled out the articles for me to judge as life or death (keep or throw away). And after 5 hours, what I could not do alone in a year was done by the power of the Holy Spirit working in concert with Superwoman and me. In that moment at 10:00 p.m. on News Years Day 2009, my office, like me, was resurrected to a glorious form–a glory greater than its former glory.
In this series, I want to discuss the topic, To Hell and Back, in the light of Jesus’ resurrection story and Genesis 1:1-5 with my life in 2008 as the dark canvas for His light to reveal spiritual insight. The purpose of this series is share the path of resurrection when your life deviated from God. This is not an easy task as Hebrews 6:4-6 declares. Actually, according to the text, it is impossible for anyone to convince or recover a former Christian that deviates and renounces his allegiance to God (through their lifestyle and deeds). It is only the power of God. God will allow Satan access to them and give them the opportunity to return to Him. In essence, this is the very experience of Jesus between the cross and the tomb three days later. When Jesus was on the cross He became sin and thus created a “Great Chasm” between He and God. But at what exact moment did He become sin? It was not when He was beat, nor hung on a tree. But rather, it was when Jesus separated his soul from His Holy Spirit with the words, “Father, into your Hands I commit my Spirit”. At that very moment on the cross, Jesus became sin because it was the power of the Holy Spirit which had kept Him from sin (and keeps us from sinning) was given up. Jesus had to submit to death through sin. He then went to Hell preached the gospel to His dead ancestors in Abraham’s bosom, took away the power of death, and then was resurrected by the Holy Spirit on the third day. I will break down each part of Jesus Hell experience and its correlation to getting back on track, but first I must focus on the “Great Chasm” as it holds keys to prevention and promotion.
Genesis 1:1-5 (AMP)
1IN THE beginning God (prepared, formed, fashioned, and) created the heavens and the earth.
2The earth was without form and an empty waste, and darkness was upon the face of the very great deep. The Spirit of God was moving (hovering, brooding) over the face of the waters.
3And God said, Let there be light; and there was light.
4And God saw that the light was good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it; and God separated the light from the darkness.
5And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.
April 12, 2008 marked the official four year anniversary of me rededicating my life to Christ. God did so much between April 12, 2004 and April 12, 2006. Here’s the quick version: rededicated life, doubled income, blessed with 4 bed/ 3 bath home in prime real estate location, began tutoring services, started motivational speaking, delivered first sermon where many souls were touched (see Defying Darkness), became spiritual son/mentee of pastor, passed PhD qualifying exam, restored health (in the best shape), and had a prophetic gift released. By the end of 2006, God had formed me. I was like the earth in Genesis 1:1. I had been formed, fashioned, and prepared for whatever God wanted to do next in my life. But something happened in 2007 and by News Years day 2008, I was verse 2 of Genesis 1. I was without form, an empty waste, and darkness covered me. I felt so hopeless, tormented, cursed, damned, and distraught. Satan had been given access to me as it had been granted with Job. The clinical diagnosis for my condition as termed in February 2008 was “Moderate to severe depression with symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome.” The spiritual diagnosis was “the price for consciously and unconsciously disobeying God with symptoms of a backslidden and reprobate mind.”
Clearly a chasm in the fabric of time and space had occurred wherein I was much different from myself in 2006 or even 2007. My chasm was eerily similar to the chasm between verses 1 and 2 of Genesis 1. In Genesis 1:1, the earth is beautiful, formed, fashioned, and ready. Then in verse 2, the earth is a hot mess, jacked up, run amuck, unblessed, etc. Ever wondered what happened between verse 1 and 2? Well, I will tell you. There was a war in heaven between God and Lucifer. Michael kicked Satan (Lucifer’s earthly name) and his angels down to earth because there was no room for them any longer in heaven (Ref Isaiah 14 and Rev 12). This war released astronomical amounts of energy (1/3 in all the universe at the time). In doing so, the earth was damaged and left the condition described in Genesis 1:2. At the root of this release of energy, is the collision between God’s ways and the ways of Satan. Of course God is infinitely and ultimately powerful. God created Satan to be a powerful, beautiful, and crafty angelic being as described in Isaiah 14 and Genesis 3. However, the lust for power and esteem corrupted Satan. This lust created the Great Chasm of sin in the fabric of space and time.
Any Christian, if they are not careful to fear, worship, and obey God, can fall prey to the sin of Lucifer. I was not so careful and therefore experienced the Great Chasm. In late 2006, after God had released so much anointing in my life, I began to drift so subtly out of God’s will. It was hardly noticeable because I had covered my sin with godly busyness and activity. I served in many ministries and helped lots of people. God still used me because He loves His children. The people whom I helped and served with would never have thought that what I did was out of God’s will. I did many great things in Jesus name. But my heart was deceived by my own pursuit of glory. The deception was not in what God had said, but when. You can do what God had called you to do in error if it is before His appointed and ordained time. This is a great sin because you are calling God a liar through mistrust and anxiousness masked as lust.
When you trust yourself and lean upon your own understanding more than God, then you doing exactly what Lucifer did. What does this lifestyle look like? Decisions are made by influences other than God, His Word, and the Holy Spirit. Think about the last five major decisions that you made. Was it brought before the Lord in prayer? Did you look for scriptural wisdom? Did you seek Godly counsel? Did you listen to the Holy Spirit? Did you have the peace of God? I spent a season where I did not earnestly seek God in my decisions and made them in dependence of self and worldly wisdom. I did not have peace in making those decisions, but the lust for the promised glory numbed my sensitivity to peace. During this season, I made decisions concerning which church I attended, what I did in my education, career, health, business and investing, and finally relationships. By the end of the season of deception, the consequence of my decisions led to death in every area of life. Hence, the Great Chasm was finally finished between me and God and I cried out like Jesus on the cross, “Father, why have you forsaken me?”
In closing part 1 of this series, I want you to think about the decisions you’ve made the past year. I want you to examine if God was pleased by your decisions. I want you to examine your heart. Is Jesus lord over your heart? Have you granted Him the authority to have final say in all your decisions? Or does self interest, wealth, power, marriage, sex, a career, a degree, or fear drive you. Why do you think Paul penned Colossians 2:6 (AMP) ”As you have therefore received Christ, [even] Jesus the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him.” I pray that your strength if God shows areas of error. Repent and ask God to help you rectify the situation or situations. This is hard. I had to do this in 2008. I experienced a grave depression that can last anywhere from a 18 months to many years. But with God, I was healed, delivered, restored, and propelled in 9 months. It cost me dearly. Literally, I had to go through Hell. I am so fortunate and grateful to God for His grace, mercy, and power. In the next post, I will share the importance and purpose of the Hell experience. Until then, keep fighting for your dream!
