A Woman’s Worth

Last week, my family threw my mother a surprise retirement party.  It was quite an operation that got all of the family together.  It was a lovely event with 25 family and friends, hosted in private room at a new upscale urban restaurant (Big City Chophouse) in downtown Akron, Ohio.  We gave my mother gifts, words of appreciation, and showed her a 22 minute video interviews of her coworkers wishing her well.  In all the jubilee and excitement, I sensed a reservation in Mom.  When the hostess opened the french doors of the dark private room, the lights came on, and the guests yelled surprise, my mother was numb.  At first I thought Mom was numb because of the surprise, but I soon discovered it was because nothing like this had ever been done for her.  In the 61 years of Catherine Ford has graced the earth, she has never had a day where she was the center of attention and made to feel valuable and worthy of “all the trouble.”   Not in 41 years of marriage and motherhood.  Not in 25 years working for the state of Ohio.  Not in 18 years of being a grandmother.  For all the struggle, for all the sacrifice, Mom has never had her day to be appreciated and celebrated.  Not on her wedding day.  She was married in her mother’s living room.  No special birthday parties or trips.  She may get a nice card.  No surprise vacations to her favorite city.  Only trips to see her out of state children or to check on a home in rural Mississippi that she hates. The only thing she has done is work. Quite possibly in her work, she received passing recognition and appreciation.  On this October night, I saw my mother differently.  I saw women differently.  That night, I saw this woman’s worth.  In this post, I want to discuss the importance of acknowledging, nurturing, and celebrating a woman’s worth.

I learned three valuable lessons concerning a woman’s worth at my mom’s retirement party.  Let’s being with Proverbs 31:27-29:

Proverbs 31:27-29 reads concerning the virtuous woman,

²⁷ She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”

The first lesson is a woman’s worth must be acknowledged.  Before I proceed, I must define worth.  Worth, as described in a dictionary, is the quality that renders something desirable or valuable or useful.  Proverbs 31:10 describes a woman’s worth as being more precious than rubies.  Okay, let’s proceed.  In Proverbs 31:27-29, the virtuous woman is praised by both her children and husband.   Both her children and husband rise up to acknowledge her.  The context of the Hebrew word for rise up (arise) means to stand up out of reverence.  Think of when the Queen of England or the President enters a room, all the people stand to acknowledge them.  Likewise, it is important for a woman to have her value, usefulness, and attractiveness acknowledged by those around, especially family.  Acknowledgment is simply pausing and taking notice of what God created.  Men, we do this when we notice a woman’s hair after she has returned from the salon, or when tell a woman she is dressed nice.  If you really want to acknowledge a woman’s worth, then observe a woman’s God given talent.  My mother is great with numbers and accounting.  Every chance I get, I tell her how great she is at her work.  At the party, my sister Angela composed a beautiful poem and short story for my mom.  I took a moment at the party to tell everyone that Angela composed the poem and short story in 48 hours!  During the 22 minute video, I acknowledged my sister Knatokie’s great communication skills by allowing her to interview each coworker. And boy, she did a great job! I can see her on television.  In my sisters and mother, I see how a woman comes to life when her worth is acknowledged.

Women Come To Life When Acknowledged

The second lesson is a woman’s worth must be nurtured and celebrated.  During the retirement party, we showed more than 22 minutes of video of my mother’s coworkers wishing her well in retirement.  My younger sister and I conducted all of the interviews.  We must have talked to 20 people.  Those 20 people painted a picture of my mother that I had never seen before.  They described her great leadership, persistence, compassion, problem solving acumen, unwavering positive attitude, dedication, and how invaluable she is to the organization.  One coworker stated, “At the staff meeting when they announced her retirement, they gave her a standing ovation. That has never happened at this place and probably never will again.  That is just how special she is.”  While I was aware of my mother’s strengths, I had no clue of the magnitude of her abilities.  I wondered why I had not noticed.  I discovered the answer that day after the retirement party while at home with my parents. My mother is a different woman at home than at work.  At work, she flows in her gifts because it is needed and nurtured.  At home, she is criticized and penalized for her shortcomings.  During a brief exchange, my dad complained about how unorganized my mom is.  Immediately, I saw my mom go into a shell and become morbidly quiet.

Criticism Causes the Worth of a Woman To Hide

Unknowingly, my father focuses on her weaknesses and withholds love from her.  Instead of celebrating the many good things she does, he focuses on the few things she does not do well.  Sadly, many married men do this to their wives.  Even more tragic, is that children see their father criticizing their mother, and grow up to date and marry people who do not celebrate their gifts.  You wonder why Proverb 18:21-22 says,

²¹ Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
²² He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the LORD.

I made a covenant with God, a la Job (except Job’s was with his eyes), to let my tongue be used to celebrate and not condemn all people, especially the wife God will bless me with.   John Maxwell has coined the 101 percent principle.  You find the one thing a person does well and give 100 percent attention and focus to that one thing.  A key scripture to correct and empower you to be able to speak love when your mind reminds of someone’s shortcomings 1 Corinthians 13:5 and Proverbs 10:11-12,

Proverbs 10:11-12,
¹¹ The mouth of the righteous is a well of life,
But violence covers the mouth of the wicked.
¹² Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers all sins.

1 Corinthians 13:5 (AMP;added emphasis):

⁵It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

Imagine how different our world would be if men would nurture and celebrate the gifts in their wives, sisters, mothers, and all the women in their lives.

Why is it so important for a man to acknowledge, nurture, and celebrate the worth of a woman?  This question leads me to the third and final lesson I learned from my mother’s retirement party.  It is important for a woman’s worth to be acknowledged, nurtured, and celebrated because neither man nor woman can be who God has called them to be without it.  When a woman suffers the abuse of being told they are worthless through neglect, criticism, or deed, they mentally distort the image God has created them in.  No longer do they flourish in the security of being joint heirs in Christ, but rather they flounder as slaves of man.  A woman who believes she is worthless will work her body until she has no breath left to breathe.   The breath that God breathed in Adam is now used to suck the life out of Eve through criticism and demands of performance.  No longer can she see Christ as a protective covering, but as an unloving man who will not protect her if she does not perform.   As a result, this woman does not trust God to meet her needs, is controlling, and does not know how to submit to God’s authority.  No wonder marriage counselors and pastors here this complaint from men, “She does not listen to me, ” or, “She does not submit.”

Distored Images of Worth

I observed distorted images of worth first hand with my two beautiful sisters, Angela (aka Angie) and Knatokie (aka Toka or Tokie).  Angie is married with four children. Toka is single.  Angie works tirelessly as a wife and mother and is not acknowledged enough (or at all) by those whom should.  She broke down crying at her surprise 40th birthday party last year because, as she put it at the party, “I was mean, controlling, and fussing all day before the party and feel quite unworthy of such a celebration.”  Toka who suffers extreme criticism as a Ph.D. student at Harvard in Biomedical science.  Recently, as I was helping Toka with her high school reunion, she asked me to grab some items, put them in a box, and take them to a car.  As I am taking the box to the car, she stops me to ask if I had grabbed the items.  I pause, holding the box with the proper items in it,  look at her, say her name in a fatherly voice twice as to communicate, “Do you trust me to take care of this.”  She apologizes and confesses, “I am so used to people not taking care of things.” I did not get upset with her as I could see she was under stress suffering from the symptoms of being told she is unworthy.  If I would have allowed Satan to get me to believe the lie, “Toka, does not think you are man enough to handle such a simple task,” I would have gotten angry and created strife with Toka. Or even worse, if I would have not lovingly corrected her, I would have emasculated myself as a man of God.   Mind you I did not raise my voice or lecture her, but from a place of love, spoke to her spirit, “Trust the God in me to handle this,” by simply saying her name twice.  So many married men have emasculated themselves by not correcting their wives when they have not trusted them.  Marriage is a covenant between man, woman, and God.  A wife commits to trusting her husband as the Lord when she says, “I do.”  Colossians 3: 18 is clear on this, “¹⁸ Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” When a husband corrects his wife,  he is saying, “Honey, honor the covenant.  I want to love you as God has anointed and appointed me to do so.”  You show me one woman who does not want to be corrected in this manner, then I will show you a woman who does not want the love of God.  I know too many Christian men who have emasculated themselves and are afraid to walk in the authority God has given them.  Emasculated men of God and distrustful women of God have created a distorted image of God.

In closing, it pains me to see the strategic plan of attack Satan has on our women being carried out by men. Look at the statistics: 1 in 6 women have been raped (60% of rapes go unreported), 77% of girls between the ages of 10 and 14 in the US and UK negatively describe themselves using terms such as ugly or fat when compared to media’s image of beauty, women make less money for the same job as men.   Even worse, is that men in the Church are abusing women through neglect, criticism, biblical brow beating, and coldness in the name of Jesus.  This is the purest and vilest form of using the Lord’s name in vain.  All the while, Satan and his minions are laughing at the body of Christ.  Women of God hands are stained as well.  Women in the church can be catty and offer harsh criticism of their sisters instead of celebrating each other.    I desire to see a woman’s worth restored and healed as the prophet Jeremiah declared about the bride of Christ  in Jeremiah 30:17,

¹⁷ For I will restore health to you
And heal you of your wounds,’ says the LORD,

‘ Because they called you an outcast saying:

“ This is Zion;
No one seeks her.”’

A Renewed and Healed Image of Worth

This begins with love being expressed in truth and deed.  Children, tell your mother she is beautiful and celebrate her talents. Do something special for her.  Husbands, hold your wife close, kiss her, and whisper in her ear how special and valuable she is.  Do something to show you support her.  Fathers, no matter the age of your daughter, hug her and tell her how proud you are of the woman she is and how much you respect her abilities.  Do something to show your love.  Men, at every opportunity, compliment, celebrate, and applaud the talents of the women in your life.  When we as men celebrate a woman’s worth with a pure and sincere heart, God opens the floodgates of heaven.  I am a living witness.  This is a fight every man must fight to have his dream.  A man must protect the worth of the women in his life.

Until next time, keep fighting for your dream!

To Hell and Back: The Day of Resurrection (Part 2)

In finishing this series “To Hell and Back,” I will share the most important point of my year long journey in 2008.  What is that point?  You will have to wait a few sentences.  I know I promised to give, in a self help manner, the truths in walking in your resurrected identity, but this point was recently impressed upon me.  This point is the key to any teaching on walking in your identity in Christ.  How and why did I come to this point?  Fittingly, it started with death.   On the night of July 6th 2009, my dear Uncle Butch murdered my dear Uncle Dennis.  Like Cain and Abel, the murder occurred during an attack fueled by anger.  However, unlike the Bible story, the victim was the instigator.  This story was on the news, in the newspapers, and online back home in Ohio.  I flew home to spend a week with my family, especially my grieving father who is the eldest member of  his family now.  During the course of the week, I began to see a trend.  While many offered condolences, I saw a coldness of heart that ran like a river through the community and through parts of my family.   It upset me and it was not until the Holy Spirit reminded me of the passage in Matthew 24:12 that says,”…the love of many will grow cold,” was my ire calmed.   That passage of scripture pursued me and caused me to examine my own heart.  Then, I came across Psalm 51:17,”The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.“Is my sacrifice worthy? Is my heart broken because of love?  Man, I realized that my heart was marred with cold spots.  And the people who I most loved were not receiving the love that God had placed in me for them.  It seemed that somehow before, during, and after the Great Chasm and Hell Experience that I had stopped expressing love, especially to my family and any person who crossed my path.  It was like they were conditioned in not receiving love from me.  For years, I accused them of not showing me the love I needed from them.  For years, I subscribed to forgetting is forgiving.  For years, I believed that my family did not love me.  The crazy part is that communication frequency and quality gradually dwindled and no one cared to stop it.  As in many families, a seemingly irreversible rift was formed.  This separation caused my perception of love to be distorted.  This deception impacts all relationships especially with God.   So, I pose this question to you, “Is your perception of love distorted?”  The answer to this question impacts how you experience love on all levels.

How's your love?

At the funeral, I could loudly hear the whispers of the Holy Spirit on love.  My Uncle Butch has two sons, Fish and J.J., who are musically gifted just like their father.  J.J., the older and lead musician, brought everyone to tears when he shared how Uncle Dennis was a second father to him and always made everyone feel loved.  That is so true.  All of my memories with Uncle Dennis were marked with love and encouragement.  I spent a lot time with him when I was small through my teen years.  Uncle Dennis was the first person to explain to me what an engineer is and that I should be one because I was gifted in math and science.  I still remember vividly the evening when I went to visit him at grandma’s house.  I was 12 years old and he greeted me at the door, “Hey Nephew, what’s going on?” I smile and enthusiastically share, “I just got my career aptitude test results back. It says I should be an Architect.”  Uncle Dennis smiles and smoothly in his unique way, “Well Chris, because you are so smart and talented you would be a great engineer also.  It was something about the way Uncle Dennis would speak, it was as if God was speaking and you were drawn in because you knew it was important.  When Uncle Dennis said, “I love you.” It was so bathed with the essence of God.  God is love as the Bible says.  Uncle Dennis left love with a lot of people.  So when Fish and J.J. began to sing an original song called, “Joy Always Comes in the Morning,” we felt the strength of God comforting the weak and broken hearts of family and friends.  We were sad at the lose of love.  We lost a man who gave love and we lost an opportunity to give love to him.

Upon further reflection about love, I saw 2008 and before much differently.  The gradual progression of sin in my life that led to the Great Chasm caused me to not express love. The pain and torment of the Hell Experience caused me to become self centered which is the antithesis of love.   In the end, when sin was full blown in death, love was not present.  You cannot genuinely express love and be self centered at the same time.  Love requires you to focus on the other person or people.  Even loving yourself requires you to focus on God so that He can reveal His love to you thereby granting you the power to love yourself.  The turning point for me was when I began to walk in love even when I did not know it.

How do you view love?

There is a passage in Ephesians 3:17-19 that talks about understanding the depth, width, length and height of the love of God. ^“17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” I paused earlier this year while reading this passage. I understand the width and height as embodied by the cross that Christ bore for us. But the depth and length of His love, who can fully understand?   The depth spans from Heaven to earth through the bowels of Hell.  The length spans space and time in the universe.  God loves us so much.  God hates sin because it keeps us from experiencing His love.  The entire Bible is a long love story about God and His children. Sin was created by Satan because he rejected God love.  So, now Satan has deceived the whole world about the love of God.   Every sin can be attributed to a lack of understanding or deficit of love. That is why Christ said, all of the law can be summed up in two commandments, “Love God and love your neighbor as I have loved you.(John 13:34)“  Christ expressed love selflessly. He said himself, “There is no greater love than he who lays down his life for His friend(John 15:13).“ That is exactly what Christ did when He laid down His life on the cross.  He did that so we might experience the love of God.  Christ knew it was only when a person tastes and is immersed in the love of God can their joy be complete.  That complete joy speaks to a wholeness that only God can give.

Walking in love is the only way you can walk in your resurrected identity in Christ.  Unforgiveness, bitterness, hurt, and anger hinders you from receiving the love of God.  Have you noticed that hurt, unforgiving, bitter, and angry people are self centered and struggle with giving love?  I was the same way.  During my Hell Experience, Great Chasm, and on my road of resurrection, I failed to show love to people whom it especially mattered (e.g. my family and friends).  Yeah, Satan convinced me that they did not deserve my love because of what they had done to me or how they treated other family members.  But that is not what Christ teaches.  Christ spoke to His disciples, Love your enemies.  Even love those who spitefully use you.  Love is proof that you have forgiven someone.  Love and forgiveness were key messages that Christ preached after He was resurrected.  He talked about the retaining of sin when you don’t forgive the sins of others against you.  You cannot be who God has designed you to be when you are holding on to unforgiveness and not receiving the love of God.  As a result, you cannot complete the great commission which is to preach the gospel and reconcile all nations to God.  Your identity, purpose, and life as a believer must have the DNA of reconciling the lost to God through the love that He puts in you.

The path of resurrection in 2008 began with love for God and ended with love for people.  I spent the first six months of my journey learning to love God again.  The byproduct of loving God was a renewed love of self.  Low self esteem is caused by a low esteem for God.  Low esteem for God means you honor the words of Satan more than His word.  If you have some personal hang up or insecurity or shame that makes you feel bad, somewhere in your belief system you have esteemed the words of Satan more than God.  It is so subtle at times that you make think it is normal by now.  God loves you so much.  No matter what state you are in, be it physical, spiritual, emotional, or circumstantial, God loves you and never condemns you.  Once, I began to esteem His words again and to live by them. He began to build my self confidence.  Self confidence based on the word of God is like the house built on the rock that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 7:24. Self confidence based upon empty words, attention, anything man-made, or of the world’s system sets you up for disaster is like building your house on sand (Matthew 7:26).  You know, God me stripped of anything that I garnered pride or self confidence from.  On December 30th, 2008, God instructed me to move out of my beautiful house and rent it out completely furnished, and take only my clothing and books.  Within six weeks of receiving those instructions, I went from a plush 4 bedroom 3 bath home with a two car garage, to a 1 room shared bathroom in a boarding house with four other college students.   The Lord forbade me from purchasing furniture to recreate my former “comfort” level.  I slept on a borrowed mattress.  God showed me that my identity was tied to my house and material possessions.  Even my wardrobe was changed.  He instructed me to leave the blazers, hats, shoes, and other apparel that I used to fill voids in my identity.  I felt like Jesus when the Roman soldiers stripped Him of his clothes and cast lots for them.  After the stripping of material possessions, God stripped me of relationships that I was using to fill the void of attention.  God showed me a love for the world expressed through receiving attention from women.  This also would manifest in the ambitious pursuits i.e. success breeds attention. I had to cut off relationships with women that were sources of attention and not the love of God.  Others I had to pray over and confess the void that woman was filling in my life.  Through this obedience, God showed me a fear of being unloved. Thereafter, I battled loneliness.  The many voids left from cutting off the relationships exposed a cold draft in my soul.  I discovered a cold, hurt, and scarred heart.  Every exposed void, to the glory of God, has been bathed with His love through His word, spirit, and Blood.  And finally, an ability to love people was resurrected. What is filling your voids where God’s love must dwell?

1 John 2:3-11 talks about the evidence of being a child of God is love for God and people.  Loving God causes you to obey His word and to love the people He created.  At the end of your the Day of Resurrection, it all about love.  It was love that resurrected Jesus.  It was love that resurrected me.  It was love that God put in the hearts of people assigned to my life during 2008.  It was love that caused a friend to help clean my messy office in the same manner God used her to clean up my messy my heart.  Therefore, in closing, I leave you a prayer for love, faith, and hope to be resurrected in your life. 1 Corinthians 13 ends with a message connecting identity to love, faith, and hope. ” ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. ¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ” If you are hurt, are having a hard time obeying God’s word, sharing love with family, friends, or strangers, then this prayer is God’s helping hand being extended to you.

Love Resurrected

Dear God, where two or three are gathered, there you are in the midst. Right now, in the name of Jesus, I gather, touch, and agree with my brother or sister who is reading this blog.  I pray, in the name of Jesus, that their hearts are healed of every wound, offense, affliction, wrong, and hurt that is keeping them from loving You, themselves, and others, especially those who have hurt them.  Right now, I ask You to give them power to forgive ever sin committed against them and to forgive them of every sin they’ve committed.  I pray specifically for sexual abuse.  Every person abused at the hands of a loved one, pastor, preacher, friend, stranger, or relative, may the power of God touch it in the name of Jesus.  Jehovah Raphe, break the chains of bondage because of that offense and bring healing and restoration to the areas of love afflicted by that abuse.  Lord, I cast down every condemning spirit that resurrects the memory and mental anguish of that experience and order it to be released by the blood of Jesus.  Right now, I speak wholeness according to 2 Corinthians 5:17 which says, that we are new creatures in Christ and old things have passed away. Lord, I speak to every wedge that has been driven between your child and your love.  I speak to offenses, negative words, negligent parents, abrasive spouses, failed business, financial set backs, job losses, death of loved ones, broken relationships, failed marriages, and every situation that Satan has used to distort your love.  God, I pray that their spiritual eyes of understanding be enlightened in the name of Jesus.  Lord, shed light on every lie that is distorting your love.  The veil of Satan be rebuked in the name of Jesus.  God, may your Spirit move now on every dark situation. Let there be love in the hearts of your people, right now, in the name of Jesus.  Fill them, right now, with love.  Seal them Holy spirit with your love.  Bathe them in the loving blood of Jesus.  Love cry out from their souls.  Deaf and mute spirit, be rebuked.  May they now hear Your voice of love.  May now feel Your presence of love.  God, heal the broken hearts.  God, heal the open wounds.  God, yield a refreshing spirit to your precious child.  Open now the flood gates of heaven.  Flow the blessings of a revelation and relationship with Your love.  Show them the depth, width, height, and length of Your love.  Do this, in your precious Son’s name, Amen.

If there are any unbelievers or those out of fellowship with God reading this, I pray you receive the love of God through a committed and consistent relationship with Jesus Christ.  All you have to do is to confess your sins, acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Son of God who died and was resurrected for your sins, and believe this truth in your heart.  Say aloud, “Lord Jesus the Christ, I confess that I am a sinner in need of cleansing.  I need you to wash me with your Blood which shed for me in death.  Lord Jesus, I believe You did die and was resurrected on the third day for my sins.  Right now, I believe you are the Savior Son of God.  Right now, my sins are given.  I am bathed with your Blood and am acceptable before You.  Right now, every generational curse is broken because my inheritance comes from You and You alone.  Right now, I forgive every person who has sinned against me.  I commit to loving them no matter what.God, I rejoice with You as Heaven is rejoicing for me.  Lord, give me your Holy Spirit so that I might learn Your ways and live like Jesus.  Lord, lead me to a church home where I can grow in the knowledge of your love, wisdom, and ways.  Lord, show me my divine purpose in You.  Give me the strength to walk it out.  In Jesus mighty name, Amen!”

And finally, I pray for hope for those who feel hopeless.  Lord, we  take authority over every situation and declare that what was intended for evil, You will use for good. We believe and confess that no weapon of a situation, relationship, person, or ailment shall prosper.  Right now, God we ask for faith to overcome this situation.  Greater is You in me than he that is in the world. God you have already conquered this situation in the name of Jesus.  I pray now for wisdom, guidance, and supernatural faith.  I pray you release your ministering angels to complete Your will. Lord I thank you for the victory.  Lord, I praise you for your glory to be revealed in this situaiton.  I thank you in Jesus name, Amen.

Keep fighting for your dream!

To Hell and Back Part III: The Day of Resurrection

Jesus' Resurrection

“So, how do you feel?” asked my therapist Dr. F. on a dreary December afternoon.   As I pondered his question during our final session, a foreign emotion pressed gently upon the walls of my stomach, and its pressure gradually meandered up my chest into my throat.  It felt like sadness, but I was not sad.  My mind became confused as chemical composition of my brain indicated that I was filled with the emotion of joy.  The foreign emotion parading as sadness collided with joy and caused my tear ducts to moisten.  I wanted to cry, but had no despair draw from.  When I answered Dr. F., “I feel strange…I want to cry, but do not understand why.”  Dr. F.  replied as he had done so many times during the previous seven months, “ Chris, give yourself room to cry.”  I acquiesced.  As tears began flow from the river of my heart, a wave up understanding washed up on the shore of my psyche.  These tears were different than any I had produced before.   These were tears of happiness and not sorrow, of healing and not pain, and of victory and not defeat.  I had finally done it.  I was resurrected.  I was whole, healed, and filled with the love of God.  I explained my revelation to Dr. F.  and he agreed.  He left the room and reentered with the test results to back up his opinion.  Not only had all symptoms of mental distress been cleared up, but my emotional and mental health far exceeded of a typical Ph.D. student at Georgia Tech.  I left Dr. F.’s office on December 4^th, 2008 a resurrected man.

On December 4^th, 2008, I had completed therapy and the year long journey of restoration.  December 4^th marked the day when I completed the long day I’ve termed the Day of Resurrection.  Just as we celebrate Easter on day in remembrance of season when Christ suffered, died, and was resurrected, so is December 4^th for me.  It is a personal Easter of sorts.  Fittingly, I want to revisit the Bible account of Jesus’ resurrection day.  Therefore, I have entitled this final post in the series To Hell and Back, Day of Resurrection.  In this two part posting, you will learn if you are truly resurrected and how to become resurrected.  The Day of Resurrection is the season of your life wherein you are freed from death due to deception and sin, and are empowered to walk uncompromisingly in your resurrected identity in Christ.  In part one, I will focus on the three reasons why we fail to walk in power and authority.  In part two, I will explain how to successfully walk in power and authority granted by Christ’s resurrection.

John 20:1-9 describes an account of Christ’s disciples first encounter with the Lord’s resurrection:

1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. 9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

This passage so accurately describes the condition of the church today and the need for a resurrected lifestyle.  We find three classes of Christians:  the Marys, the Peters, and the Johns.  These classifications are denoted by each person’s response to the empty tomb of Jesus.  Mary thought they had taken Jesus body and believed it was stolen. Peter first noticed the strips of linen and burial cloth that had been around the head of Jesus.  Finally, the beloved John saw and believed the resurrection. The Marys are Christians who are emotionally stuck on Jesus’ death and lost body and as a result do not walk power or authority.  Marys are Christians who have are constantly search for people or things to fill the emotional and intimacy voids in their life.   Marys may be that brother or sister who are always in a relationship, serve in ten ministries, or who spend too much money on clothes and entertainment.  The Peters are Christians who have denied Christ (and hence their identity in Him) and as a result are entangled in sin which renders them without an identity in Christ and powerless.    Peters are so preoccupied with their public image that they compromise who they are in Christ.  Peters do not know and appreciate how and why God made them.  Peters do not have a revelation about their purpose in life.  Peters define their righteousness by what they deny themselves such as not committing fornication or sexual adultery.  And lastly, the Johns are those who see through the eyes of faith and walk in the power of His resurrection.   These are the loving brothers and sisters who live by truth and with unquenchable joy.  They handle adversity with grace which may lead some to think that nothing every gets to them.  Johns are living proof that Christ overcame the world.  Both the Marys and the Peters cannot walk in power and authority until they deal with their emotional and identity issues through a revelation of His resurrection. Which are you?

So what happened when Christ rose from the dead?  He was raised in power, given authority in heaven and earth, and has given those who believe in Him access to His same power and authority.  As a basic reference, power is addressed in 1 Corinthians 15:42-43, authority in Hebrews 10:12-13, and our access to His power and authority in Ephesians 2:4-6.

1 Corinthians 15:42-43 declares, “⁴² So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. ⁴³ It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power.”

Hebrews 10:12-13 states,  “ ¹² But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God, ¹³ from that time waiting till His enemies are made His footstool.”

Ephesians 2:4-6 proclaims, “⁴ But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), ⁶ and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,”

Right now, Christ is sitting at the right hand of God waiting for His believers to take His power, His authority, and put them to use.  Through His death, He remitted our sin.  But through His resurrection, He gave us power, authority, and a new identity.  Through His death, we received a heavenly reward of eternal life.  But through His resurrection, we received an earthly reward.  The reward is of heavenly power, authority, and identity that is to be used on earth.  When we pray the part of the Lord’s prayer that states, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” we are speaking of our Christ bought identity, power, and authority.  But is that power and authority being used in your life?  I am concerned about the lack of power and authority of the majority of the church.  Why is it that so many Christians neglect their relationship with God as indicated by prayerlessness and Biblical illiteracy? Why is that Christian marriages are being torn apart at a greater rate than unbelieving marriages?  Why is it that Christians are just as sexually perverted or more than unbelievers?  Why is it that Christians are afraid to share their faith in God with co-workers or friends?  Why are Christians afraid to be Christians in America where there is religious freedom?  It is because Christians are not using the power and authority Christ left when He walked out of His tomb.  I have discovered that there are three reasons why power and authority were not being used in my life. It was because of deception, unforgiveness, and scriptural ignorance/disbelief living in my life.  During my year of restoration, I had to put to death the deception, unforgiveness, and my own doubt and ignorance of the Holy Bible in my life.

When I entered the Great Chasm, it was because I was deceived. I was deceived about the love of God.  Deep in my belief system was the lie that God does not love me.  I believed He did not love me because of the sexual abuse and other horrible acts that He allowed me to happen to me.  And in my deception, I believed that I had to perform for people through good deeds to qualify for His love and approval.  Serving in ministries, dating, and going the extra mile in all pursuits even when I knew God had not instructed me to do so was all based upon this Great Deception.  This is the greatest deception that Satan uses to win souls or contract workers to the kingdom of darkness.  If Satan cannot get you to worship Him, he will settle for the Christian to be a contract worker through compromise.     The Great Deception is what leads to the innumerable sins of compromise we commit and I committed greatly the months leading up to the Great Chasm.  The Great Deception is the key culprit in not walking in the power and authority of Christ’s resurrection.

The power of the Great Deception is fortified by unforgiveness.  Through the strength of my unforgiveness toward the person who abused me, I developed a deep anger that blossomed into a violent rage.  I was afraid of this rage.  I feared it being released.  I felt this rage had to the capacity to kill.  See, the Great Deception leads to other deceptions such as believing you are something you are not.  I believed and therefore behaved counter to the image of God in which I was created.  I believed I was an unloveable and hate-filled person.  I had periods growing up and during My Day of Resurrection when I would be mean to those closest to me, held back expressing love, and avoid opportunities to be loved.    It is impossible to be who God has called you to be if you believe the Great Deception and harbor unforgiveness.  You cannot walk in the power and authority of God unless you walk in His image (i.e. your identity in Christ).

Finally, the Great Deception of believing that God does not love me caused me to doubt His Word.  Doubt and ignorance of the Word of God render the same result in your life.  When you doubt the Word the God, it is of same effect as ignoring it. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God as stated by Romans 10:17.  If you doubt His word, you do not have faith.  If you do not have faith, you do not have power, nor can know how to walk in His authority.  If you do not believe in tithing, then you cannot walk in the power nor authority granted by the tithe (e.g. rebuking the devourer i.e. satan causing lack in your life).  Just going through the motions and putting a tenth of your income in the offering bucket does nothing in heaven or for you on earth.   God does not want your money.  He already owns it! He wants your faith in Him!  When we become a believer, we receive a measure of faith (Romans 12:3).  That measure is the belief that Jesus died for your sins.  That is it. In order to increase your measure of faith, you must belief His word, precept upon precept.  Each precept in the Bible is a quantity of hope that can be added to your faith.  Just as a baby has no power or authority, so is the Christian who only has the original measure of faith they received upon conversion.   Hence, no faith in His Word renders you incompetent and impotent to walk in His power and authority.

In closing, the importance of understanding Jesus’ resurrection cannot be overemphasized.  By His resurrection do we have hope in eternity.  By His resurrection are the old testament prophecies fulfilled.   By His resurrection does our entire faith in God and His love rest upon.    For me, it was the belief that God loves me like He loves His son that pulled me from the despair the Great Chasm.  It was the belief that God loves me that delivered me from the Hell Experience.  And, it was the belief that God loves me that gave me my Day of Resurrection.   I leave with you this question, “are you resurrected?” Do you live a lifestyle based upon the power and authority afforded to us by the resurrection of Jesus Christ.? In the next and final post on this series, I will share the three keys I learned during the process of restoration during my Day of Resurrection.

Until then, fight for your dream!

To Hell and Back Part II: The Hell Experience

Jesus enters the Hell experience

During a cold, windy morning in Washington DC on the day of the inauguration, I helplessly tried to navigate through the large crowd of patriots moments before the ceremony was to begin.  In the shadow of the Washington monument, herds of people moving in different directions with unclear destinations in mind collided.  In the middle of this great collision, was no other than my small envoy and I.  In only a span of 20 seconds (for what seemed like hours), the great mass of people was paralyzed by the collision. And just as suddenly as movement ceased, a spurt of panic and fear broke out in the crowd.  Children started crying, men became angry, women started pushing, and a spirit of fear and torment swept through the mass of people.  In the middle of this chaotic terror, I located the peaceful voice of the Holy Spirit.  And He, as if we were in the palm of His hand, safely guided us through the horror to a heavenly perch above the tormented crowd.  Upon digesting those 20 paralytic seconds and how God provided guidance, it is evident that episode is a microcosm of what I and many Christians experience when they are living through the Hell Experience.  Continuing the series To Hell and Back, I will describe and detail the purpose of the Hell Experience.

So what is the Hell experience? The Hell experience is the aftermath of creating a great chasm between you and God as described in part 1.  Some of you who are reading this may be dealing with loneliness, sadness, frustration, anger, fear, resentment, sorrow, or regret.  As believers in Jesus Christ, we have a blood bought right to have life and have it abundantly.  That life is full of peace, joy, love, happiness, and a definiteness of purpose. Not knowing your purpose is a form of torment.  That means you are living in confusion.  Confusion is a tormenting spirit attached to your vision and faith.  That spirit tells you that you are not significant enough for God to have a plan for your life.  And that you are worthless and not good for anything.  You wake up day in and day out going to a job only because you have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and retirement to pay for.  This is the Hell experience.  You lay in bed every morning for an extra hour because that is how long it takes for you to remove the cloud of sadness and heaviness.  This is the Hell experience.  You feel incessantly lonely, think about being in a relationship with any remotely attractive person that shows you attention, or always avoid quiet time because of the barrage of negative thoughts that run through your head.  This is the Hell experience.  Many have accepted the Hell experience as the reality of life; in truth, it the exact opposite of life which death.  I remember vividly the quiet agony my soul endured during my Hell experience.  Every morning for two consecutive months, my mind was bombarded with thoughts of suicide, fear, hopelessness, abandonment, doubt, and rage.  I felt trapped, imprisoned, and tied up in the bowels of Hell. And to exacerbate the matter, God was silent to me; I could not hear His voice.  I was disconnected from God.  No praying.  No studying His word.  I lost all fruit of the Spirit.  John 15:3 says,”…apart from God you can do nothing.” God made that scripture a reality to me.  I experienced doing nothing for 21 straight days and very little for 3 months.  Those tormenting demons were granted access to me and had their way with me for a season.  I was like the rich man Jesus described in Luke 16:23-31. Let me highlight verses 23-26:

²³In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. ²⁴So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’²⁵“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. ²⁶And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’

This passage highlights the three distinct purposes of the Hell experience which are:

1.      Recognize the great chasm between you and God,

2.      Restore your taste for God, and

3.      Receive light to separate light from darkness.

As Lazarus received many comforts while living, comfort in my relationship with God became an illusion of deception which created a distance between me and God.  Like Lazarus, I craved a relief  that only a taste of the water of the Spirit can supply.   Unlike Lazarus’ experience, Jesus crossed the great chasm for me, gave me His light, and I overcame the Hell experience by His blood.   Let’s explore the three purposes of the Hell experience.

Recognizing the great chasm:

Separation from God

A prideful and haughty spirit comes before destruction and fall (Proverbs 16:18).  Spiritual pride is dangerous in that we grow numb to our distance from God.  The greatest cost of the great chasm is that there is no authentic intimacy with God.  Your relationship with God is based upon obligation, routine, and ritual.  If you were honest with yourself, you are bored with God.  You are more concerned with your appearance and maintaining a good image. You honor God with your mouth, but your heart is far from Him (Isaiah 29:13).  What does this look like?  You serve God because you said you would do.  You can always be counted on by church members, co-workers, or your family because you are a man or woman of your word.  In your heart, you are frustrated by the huge void in your spirit that no amount of deeds can satisfy.  You are so busy fulfilling the words of your mouth that you have stopped living by the words that proceed from the mouth of God. At this point, you have lost the fear of the Lord and evil now has permission to visit you.  Proverb 19:23 is a contra-positive of this truth, “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil.” Therefore, when you are visited with evil such as relationship strife, a lack of growth in business or career, or depression it is evident you have created a chasm between you and God.  You become aware of this chasm when the truth of the word of God contrasts your torment in the Hell experience. God spoke His truth to me through silence, brokenness, and frustration.  Those results are not in line with His promise to the righteous.  At my lowest moment, I realized the torment of Hell was because I had missed God and created a chasm between him and me. God uses low points and torment to show you the great chasm (e.g. Job’s experience).

Restoring your taste for God:

Remember the drink Jesus offered the woman by the well?

The rich man in hell so desired to taste the cool and refreshing water.  That dynamic of taste is the essence of why anyone can end up in going through the Hell experience.  The reason I (and the rich man) experienced the torment of Hell because I lost my taste for God.  How did I lose my taste for God? I did that by desiring things not in God’s will or timing.  Psalm 34:8 says, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.” How does one taste God? We taste God when we pray, read and obey His word, fellowship with other believers, share our faith with unbelievers, and obey God’s voice.  We also taste God when we honor Him by operating in our purpose and calling.  We stop tasting God when we avoid prayer, disobey His word and voice, avoid our purpose, date at the wrong time or the wrong person.  Eventually, as a result of our decisions, we don’t see God the goodness of the Lord.  We see the loving judgment of the Lord; the tough love that any good father gives to discipline his child. I remember the long uphill journey in restoring my taste and affection with God.  I set small goals in daily reading and prayer.  I had to resist condemnation in feeling bad for praying for a few minutes and reading a few lines of scripture.  It was so difficult reading the Bible.  The words did not speak life to me during this phase of restoring taste.  But, I persevered and believed God would reward me with intimacy with Him.  It took months.  The reason restoration of intimacy with God took months was not a matter of time, but of deliverance.  I had to separate truth from lies and light from darkness.

Separating light from darkness:

Truth is the light of His Word breathed into our minds. Jesus has separated us from darkness.

In Genesis 1: 3-4, ” Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light. 4And God saw the light, that the light was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.” After God rekindles the flame of His light in you, He then shows you how good the light is.  You begin to see the light of His calling, the glory and richness of his promises, and His power.  Ephesians 1:18-19 says, “the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power.” I remember when my eyes of understanding were enlightened.  I regained a sense of direction and purpose.  I regained a passion for the will of being accomplished in my life.  I regained a disdain of evil.  At that moment of enlightenment, darkness was exposed.  Any and all activities were questioned and rectified by His light.  God gave me the power to discern darkness even when it was clothed in light. Relationships out of His will or out of place were immediately dealt with.  Did I say relationships?  When His light was revealed concerning the darkness of relationships, I experienced a great resistance from Hell. Soon, I realized that relationships are access points for the amplification of demonic activity.  See, it was a relationship that was caused me to cry, “It is finished!” I was on a path of destruction on my own, but the relationship served as a catalyst. On the outside it looked good; a man of ambition, big hopes, and dreams who loved God. She was smart, beautiful, church going, educated, and active in her community. She was only missing God’s blessing, but I figured that would come in time once God got in line with my will (I made myself lord of my life).  The darkness of the deception was masked by the mirage of light I projected.  When God’s light of truth hit me, the truth of the relationship was unmasked. I used that relationship to mask the greatest form of darkness; I was empty, lonely, and unsatisfied with God. Once that darkness was exposed, I was ready to begin the journey out of the Hell experience.

As I am writing this, I can see millions of people who are empty, lonely, and unsatisfied with God.  They mask in many ways.  Some mask it by marrying.  Some mask it with sex.  Some mask it with alcohol. Some mask it with work.  Some mask it with busyness. How do you mask it?  These people are preachers, businessmen, students, husbands, wives, politicians, and maybe you.  It saddens and angers me.  I pray that God will prepare their hearts to receive the fullness of His love again.  If it is you, then stop hiding behind your mask, be humbled, and allow God to minister to your heart.  He did (and continually does) it for me and will do it for you.  As you allow God to cleanse your heart, He then prepares a way out of the Hell experience and back into His promises.  In the next post, I will share the path that Jesus paved with His blood out of the Hell experience.

Until next time, keep fighting for your dream!

Recalling Love on Valentines Day

Well, it is February 14th 2o09…the day of love.   I was about to post my next writing on the topic, to Hell and Back Part 2: The Hell Experience, but I decided to give hell a break in lieu of love.  Don’t worry, I will post next week sometime.  Go ahead and sign up for the e-mail notification on the right panel of the page so you know when I post something new. At any rate, I know V-day can stir many different emotions such as excitement, anticipation, joy, sadness, loneliness, regret, etc.  V-day can take us down a warm and fuzzy memory lane or a Nightmare on Elms street.  Whatever the case, realize the love that you have shared can never be unshared.  The love you’ve experienced ultimately shaped your life.    In the end, God will work that experience (good, bad, or crazy) together for your good, if you all His love to work in and through you.  Therefore, in today’s post I will share two entries; one by myself and another entry composed by my brilliant baby sister.  In reading these entries, I want you to recall love in two ways.  First, I want those who are single to recall the love they shared that did not turn out the way you may have wanted.  I challenge you to have a positive view on the remnants of love that your former lover left in you.   If you don’t have closure or are healing, then allow those words to be medicine for your soul.  Second, I want those who are married or in a relationship to recall the romantic expression of love for your mate as discussed by my sister. Enjoy and happy V-day!

“The Love God Left in Me Courtesy of You”

The love God left in me courtesy of you took me a year and seven days to find. One year to realize it exists and seven days to find. I have yielded in my heart that I still love you and will always love you.  It is not a love that requires reciprocation.  But rather, a love that celebrates the brilliance of how God masterfully crafted you. Not your fleshly or obvious attributes, but His image in you that peeks out like the rising sun on a cool summer morning.  That living image of God in you is what I cherish most and hope will emerge more and more as time with Him erodes the residue of innate sins of being born human.

In seeing you as a precious creation of God, I repent of mistreating you–of leaving you with the residue of anger and bitterness.  I hope that God has cleansed you of the stains I’ve left.  I pray He has washed you with the precious love He left in me courtesy of you.

I see now that, through God, you left love in me.  The love you left in me that reminds me that I am not alone; that being uniquely graced with so many talents is not a curse but a blessing.  The love you left in me helped me to see who I am and who I am not.  The love you left in me opened my heart to the protective covering of God from abusers.  The love you left in me guided me to therapy that released pain and tears totaling a score and three years.  The love you left in me is leading me to perpetual green pastures where my talents are nurtured, true friendships await me, and is ordained with pastors who truly love me.

And finally, I realize the love God left me courtesy of you left in me was worth the sacrifice of love I gave in concert with Christ.

“Valentine’s Day…It’s So Necessary” By Knatokie Marie Ford

Here I am…on the eve of the one holiday that so many of us singles tend to dread: Valentine’s Day. You’d think I’d be among the first to sound off with anti-Valentine’s Day rants; however, I’m going to surprise you and myself with what I’m about to say. The funny thing is, the simplest gesture spurred me to do this: a male co-worker gave me a hollow, chocolate dog inside of a little paper dog house that said, “You’re my top dog.” I COMPLETELY wasn’t expecting anything from anyone, let alone this person, so I was quite pleasantly surprised. And no, this was not his roundabout way of professing his undying love for me, but rather he was simply being thoughtful. He said that when he saw it, it looked so ridiculous that he just had to get it! But, I tell you, it sincerely warmed my heart to receive such a simple gift. It was so nice to be thought of.

Therefore, with this experience bringing somewhat of a “revelation,” I feel so strongly compelled to compose a rebuttal to my dear friend’s note: “Abolish Valentine’s Day…I love you 365 days a year.” There seems to be an ever-increasing opposition to Valentine’s Day…some think of it as just a commercial holiday…yet another plot to get folks to cough up a little dough. While this may be true to some extent, I’m here to tell you why Valentine’s Day is oh so necessary. You see, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year when a woman can have the audacity to not only HOPE but EXPECT to be romanced (aside from her birthday). And all you fellas out there who cry bloody murder at the thought of being “forced” to romance a woman on a designated day of the year, let me ask you this: how many times can you honestly say you’ve romanced your lady in the past year? Go ahead, I’ll wait while you struggle to remember. The bottom line is, WOMEN LIKE ROMANCE. Plain and simple. We like to see manifestations of a man’s adoration of us. You show me a woman who doesn’t like to be romanced, and I’ll show you a woman who unfortunately has had so little romance in her life that she’s convinced herself that not only does she not need it, but she doesn’t like it either. There is something that is innately programmed in women that makes us this way. Don’t blame me…that’s just the way God created us.

Now fellas, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Contrary to what you might believe, you don’t have to have a lot of money to romance a woman! Why, sometimes, the sweetest and most indelible romantic impression you can make is when you use a little creativity, which doesn’t require a lot of money. If you can show a woman that you not only listen to her, but that you are aware of her likes/dislikes…her wants/needs…her hopes/dreams…THAT my friend is priceless. Write her a poem…or if you’re not poetic…recite to her the words of her favorite love song. I’m telling you, one of the most romantic things a man has ever done for me was to surprise me with a picnic at a park for my birthday. He’d literally bought lunch meat, bread, and some cheap wine from 7/11. He also brought along a little boom-box that ran by batteries to play a cassette tape of love songs!!! That probably cost him all of $15 AT THE MOST, but look at the impression that left on me! The point that I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t let the fact that you aren’t quite ballin’ just yet stop you from romancing that special someone in your life.

So, because I honestly believe that there are so many women who hardly, if ever, see a little romance, I say that Valentine’s day….IS SO NECESSARY!!

Now, for all you sista’s out there who may not presently have a man to romance you, don’t fret. You should get in the habit of “romancing yourself.” Treat yourself to a facial, or maybe even a massage…shoot, I have an appointment at 3:00 p.m. tomorrow for an hour long Swedish massage! Light some candles, put on some Sade, and revel in how glorious that bubble bath feels! Just because you don’t have someone in your life to do it FOR you doesn’t mean that you aren’t ENTITLED to it!

In closing, my charge to everyone is to let Valentine’s Day be the EXCUSE and not the BURDEN for adding a little spice to your life!

Keep fighting for your dream (even your dream of love ) !

To Hell and Back Part 1: The Great Chasm

As I stood outside of my French doors which marked the entrance into my office, I felt as if I were Jesus looking at the gates of Hell moments after His death on the cross.  I realized my office was not an office, but rather a cemetery of dead dreams, relationships, ministries, and businesses that died in 2008 and prior.  Papers, books, business and ministry plans, files, folders, pictures, and many other shards were scattered on the floor, bookcases, chair, and desk.  A place that had once been my sanctuary of thought and contemplation, where G0d would speak to clearly to me, was now a haven of disorder, chaos,  and obvious demonic activity.  I began to see the entire year of 2008 flash before my eyes and the events of 2007 that led up to 2008 being the year of resurrection.    Like Jesus, my soul experienced the fiery  inferno of Hell and my office served as the tomb where my crucified body had lain. Also like Jesus, a woman discovered the resurrected me at the entrance of my tomb-like office.  My dear friend, Superwoman, entered into the gates of hell and pulled out the articles for me to judge as life or death (keep or throw away).  And after  5 hours, what I could not do alone in a year was done by the power of the Holy Spirit working in concert with Superwoman and me.   In that moment at 10:00 p.m. on News Years Day 2009, my office, like me, was resurrected to a glorious form–a glory greater than its former glory. 

In this series, I want to discuss the topic, To Hell and Back, in the light of Jesus’ resurrection story and Genesis 1:1-5 with my life in 2008 as the dark canvas for His light to reveal spiritual insight.  The purpose of this series is share the path of resurrection when your life deviated from God.  This is not an easy task as Hebrews 6:4-6 declares.  Actually, according to the text,  it is impossible for anyone to convince or recover a former Christian that deviates and renounces his allegiance to God (through their lifestyle and deeds). It is only the power of God.  God will allow Satan access to them and give them the opportunity to return to Him.  In essence, this is the very experience of Jesus between the cross and the tomb three days later.  When Jesus was on the cross He became sin and thus created a “Great Chasm” between He and God. But at what exact moment did He become sin?  It was not when He was beat, nor hung on a tree.  But rather, it was when Jesus separated his soul from His Holy Spirit with the words, “Father, into your Hands I commit my Spirit”.  At that very moment on the cross, Jesus became sin because it was the power of the Holy Spirit which had kept Him from sin (and keeps us from sinning) was given up.  Jesus had to submit to death through sin.  He then went to Hell preached the gospel to His dead ancestors in Abraham’s bosom, took away the power of death, and then was resurrected by the Holy Spirit on the third day.     I will break down each part of Jesus Hell experience and its correlation to getting back on track, but first I must focus on the “Great Chasm” as it holds keys to prevention and promotion.

Genesis 1:1-5 (AMP)

 1IN THE beginning God (prepared, formed, fashioned, and) created the heavens and the earth.

    2The earth was without form and an empty waste, and darkness was upon the face of the very great deep. The Spirit of God was moving (hovering, brooding) over the face of the waters.

    3And God said, Let there be light; and there was light.

    4And God saw that the light was good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it; and God separated the light from the darkness.

5And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.

 April 12, 2008 marked the official four year anniversary of me rededicating my life to Christ.  God did so much between April 12, 2004 and April 12, 2006. Here’s the quick version: rededicated life, doubled income, blessed with 4 bed/ 3 bath home in prime real estate location, began tutoring services, started motivational speaking, delivered first sermon where many souls were touched (see Defying Darkness), became spiritual son/mentee of pastor, passed PhD qualifying exam, restored health (in the best shape), and had a prophetic gift released.  By the end of 2006, God had formed me. I was like the earth in Genesis 1:1.  I had been formed, fashioned, and prepared for whatever God wanted to do next in my life.  But something happened in 2007 and by News Years day 2008, I was verse 2 of Genesis 1.  I was without form, an empty waste, and darkness covered me.  I felt so hopeless, tormented, cursed, damned, and distraught.  Satan had been given access to me as it had been granted with Job.  The clinical diagnosis for my condition as termed in February 2008 was “Moderate to severe depression with symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome.”  The spiritual diagnosis was “the price for consciously and unconsciously disobeying God with symptoms of a backslidden and reprobate mind.”  

Clearly a chasm in the fabric of time and space had occurred wherein I was much different from myself in 2006 or even 2007.  My chasm was eerily similar to the chasm between verses 1 and 2 of Genesis 1.  In Genesis 1:1, the earth is beautiful, formed, fashioned, and ready.  Then in verse 2, the earth is a hot mess, jacked up, run amuck, unblessed, etc.  Ever wondered what happened between verse 1 and 2?  Well, I will tell you.  There was a war in heaven between God and Lucifer.  Michael kicked Satan (Lucifer’s earthly name) and his angels down to earth because there was no room for them any longer in heaven (Ref Isaiah 14 and Rev 12).  This war released astronomical amounts of energy (1/3 in all the universe at the time).  In doing so, the earth was damaged and left the condition described in Genesis 1:2.  At the root of this release of energy, is the collision between God’s ways and the ways of Satan.  Of course God is infinitely and ultimately powerful. God created Satan to be a powerful, beautiful, and crafty angelic being as described in Isaiah 14 and Genesis 3.  However, the lust for power and esteem corrupted Satan.  This lust created the Great Chasm of sin in the fabric of space and time. 

Any Christian, if they are not careful to fear, worship, and obey God, can fall prey to the sin of Lucifer.  I was not so careful and therefore experienced the Great Chasm.  In late 2006, after God had released so much anointing in my life, I began to drift so subtly out of God’s will. It was hardly noticeable because I had covered my sin with godly busyness and activity.  I served in many ministries and helped lots of people.  God still used me because He loves His children.  The people whom I helped and served with would never have thought that what I did was out of God’s will.  I did many great things in Jesus name.  But my heart was deceived by my own pursuit of glory.  The deception was not in what God had said, but when.  You can do what God had called you to do in error if it is before His appointed and ordained time.  This is a great sin because you are calling God a liar through mistrust and anxiousness masked as lust. 

When you trust yourself and lean upon your own understanding more than God, then you doing exactly what Lucifer did.  What does this lifestyle look like?  Decisions are made by influences other than God, His Word, and the Holy Spirit.  Think about the last five major decisions that you made.  Was it brought before the Lord in prayer? Did you look for scriptural wisdom? Did you seek Godly counsel?  Did you listen to the Holy Spirit?  Did you have the peace of God?  I spent a season where I did not earnestly seek God in my decisions and made them in dependence of self and worldly wisdom.  I did not have peace in making those decisions, but the lust for the promised glory numbed my sensitivity to peace.   During this season, I made decisions concerning which church I attended, what I did in my education, career, health, business and investing, and finally relationships.  By the end of the season of deception, the consequence of my decisions led to death in every area of life.  Hence, the Great Chasm was finally finished between me and God and I cried out like Jesus on the cross, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” 

In closing part 1 of this series, I want you to think about the decisions you’ve made the past year.  I want you to examine if God was pleased by your decisions.  I want you to examine your heart.  Is Jesus  lord over your heart?  Have you granted Him the authority to have final say in all your decisions?  Or does self interest, wealth, power, marriage, sex, a career, a degree, or fear drive you.  Why do you think Paul penned Colossians 2:6 (AMP) ”As you have therefore received Christ, [even] Jesus the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him.”  I pray that your strength if God shows areas of error.  Repent and ask God to help you rectify the situation or situations.  This is hard.  I had to do this in 2008.  I experienced a grave depression that can last anywhere from a 18 months to many years. But with God, I was healed, delivered, restored, and propelled in 9 months.  It cost me dearly.  Literally, I had to go through Hell. I am so fortunate and grateful to God for His grace, mercy, and power.  In the next post, I will share the importance and purpose of the Hell experience.  Until then, keep fighting for your dream!  

 

 

Goodbye Bush, Good Day Barack

Goodbye Bush, Good Day Barack

 

Today is Tuesday, November 4th…the day that we have been waiting to say goodbye to the Bush Administration and hello to “Change.”  Our country is in the greatest financial turmoil since the Great Depression.  Americans across these United States of America are upset, hurt, and angry.  Indeed, our land is sick with the diseases of greed, selfishness, and hatred.  However, II Chronicles 7:14 says, “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will for their sin and heal their land.” America can be healed. If we are to see America return and eclipse her former glory, we have to properly say goodbye to President George Walker Bush. If we don’t, President Barack Hussein Obama will be limited by our collective bitterness.  Using the presidential election as a canvas, I endeavor to paint a picture of how to say goodbye to people that has caused you great pain through a six step process. 

Step 1. Humble, pray, and seek God’s face.

Let’s face it; it is very difficult to pray when someone has hurt you where it hurts most, your dignity.  America has lost is dignity.  We are swimming in debt.  The Saudis (and Chinese) are pimping us.  Around the world, we are not respected anymore.  It is embarrassing to be American.  While in Strasbourg, France this past May, some American colleagues were heckled and assaulted with water for being American and Black.  We have to humble ourselves and acknowledge how low we have sunk.  Similarly in relationships that have gone south, we face the reality of the imposed humility.  In this lowly posture, we have a great opportunity to see God’s face.  One of my favorite sculptures of Jesus is the one wherein the only way you can see His face is to be on your knees looking up.  It is from the position of prayer, that we are able to begin the process of healing.

Step 2. Repent (turn from wicked ways)

Now, that God’s face is in plain sight, we can be fully aware of our wickedness.  Let’s be real, Bush was put into office because we voted him there (or did not vote at all!).  Whatever the reasons, you must repent.  Oftentimes, we never own up to our part in a dysfunctional relationship.  We chose to be with them.  We re-elected them or gave them a second chance even after the drama they put us through.  God will show you the err of your ways.  When He does, kindly repent and move onto the next step.

Step 3. Forgive the person

Now that your heart is contrite and vulnerable no longer to deception, but God, you can begin the process of forgiveness.  Yes, this is the hardest part.  And I know you don’t want to, but I know you know that you have to.    Jesus summed up forgiveness so eloquently on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  The first part of forgiveness requires you to forgive the person.  More specifically, you have to remove judgment of their identity.  Whether you realize it or not, the purpose of forgiveness is to reconcile the people unto Christ so that His image can be reflected through them in the earth.  Both the abused and abuser must have their identities reconciled unto Christ.  Forgiving the offender releases both the offender and the offended into the hand of God for reshaping. 

Step 4. Forgive the sins of the person

We have to forgive the sins of President Bush on America.  The sins that has caused destruction of our great country.  America, like us, can be destroyed by the trespasses of a person or a group of people (e.g. Congress).  In order to heal, rebuild, and progress we must for those specific trespasses.  For it was Jesus that said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14)  Those trespasses adversely shaped your identity.  Studies on sexually abused children show that the repercussions of abuse reverberant through adolescent years into adulthood in the form of a limited ability to sustain friendships and intimate relationships.  Therefore, in forgiving those trespasses God then will forgive you and reconcile your identity free from the influence of those sins. 

Step 5. Record the lessons and release the pain

In America, historians will record the lessons of an economy bloated by easy access to credit (inclusive of predatory lending) and overspending caused by the policy decisions from the Bush Administration.  Likewise, we must capture the wisdom from painful relationship experiences by journaling them.  The process of encapsulating that experience releases the pain of that experience and propels us into the next era of life. 

Step 6. Praise God for the wisdom and coming blessings

Now, we are able to understand Romans 8:28 when it proclaims, “For we know, that all things work together for good, for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.” Praising God for seeing you through the past 8 years of the Bush Administration when we saw terrorism strike New York City, two economic recessions, the foreclosure on millions of homes, and the greatest government debt in the history of the world.  For we, the U.S.A., are still standing.  We may be battered right now. We may be not yet able to reach our full potential. But, in the words of Antwone Fisher, “I am still standing. I am still strong….” In this same spirit, we praise God for allowing us to persevere.  Because, there are blessings and benefits awaiting us.   Psalm 103:1-5 promises:

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all this is within me, bless His holy name! 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 3 Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 4 Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 5 Who satifsies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

I believe today, at this very moment, we have woken up from the dream that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamt for America.  The dream of a land where men from all races and creeds could sit down at the table of brotherhood.  The dream of a land free from the sickness of hatred and racism; a land free from the addiction to greed and power.  The dream of a country that is now positioned to disseminate vaccines of hope, love, and unity to fight against the unrelenting viruses of fear, hate, and division to every citizen.  MLK died for this dream.  JFK died for this dream. Our African ancestors died for this dream. 

Dream Martyrs-MLK and JFK

I mention this history because all Americans, White, Black, Brown, and Other, have been affected by the sins of our ancestors.  Saying goodbye to those sins through the six step process outlined above can heal not only each individual, but say hello to a healed America over time.  In a same manner, we can wake up to the dreams that God has called us to when say goodbye to oppressors through forgiveness, and hello to emancipators through praising of God. 

In closing, tonight when polls close, let’s say goodbye to Bush.  Then tomorrow, let’s say good day Barack.

As always, fight for your dream!

Secret Lover

While exploring Europe, there seemed to be a secret lover following me.  At first, my secret lover was distant. Then, as if my secret lover became desperate for me, it began to chase me.  I tried to run, but realized I was already running.  All at once, I stopped… frozen by the revelation and cold because I missed my secret lover.  In a moment, my secret lover’s love overtook me and I began to hear its whisper, feel its warmth, and smell its presence.  The secret was everywhere. I gazed into my secret’s eyes.  The pain of a thousand broken hearts filled me and the sorrow of yesterday weighed me.  Then in an instance, an eruption of soothing love entered the enumberable wounds of my soul and my burdens were lifted.  My secret lover breathed for me and my soul exhaled.  My secret lover caressed my face and bliss rested in my soul. My secret lover whisphered patiently into my ear, “I love you…I have always loved you… I will always love you.”

Do you know God as your secret lover?  Do you really know God.  As Adam knew Eve.  I observed how affectionate the Europeans are.  PDA is not an elecronic organizer to them.  Everywhere I went, couples were swapping DNA. 

European PDA

While observing a passionate couple, the Holy Spirit whispered, “Are you passionate about Me?  Do you offer Me a PDA (public display of affection)? Do you intimately love Me?  I was convicted, guilty as charged.  During my dark period (see previous posts), I had lost my intimacy with God. 

Lovers can be close, but feel distant

My prayers were about me and not Him.  I lost the desire to know Him intimately.  The reading of His word became a religious academic activity.  In my marriage to God, we had stopped having sex!  God was willing, but I had made my quiet time with Him (when I gave Him quiet time) a boring-religious-vain activity.  There was no intimacy! 

Real Intimacy

I was determined to rekindle my relationship with God.  I planned two days of dates with God in Paris.  I took Him to parks, museums, a waterfall, the Eifel tower, and a few of ther sites.  I quieted my soul and reconnected with Him.  His word became living again and it tasted so sweet.  His secret presence was obvious.   I became so full of love.  We climaxed and He released  the most pleasant peace you could ever imagine.  It was if I had breathed for the first time.

The first step to coming out of darkness is to fall in love with the Secret Lover again.   Psalm 25:14 says the secret of God is with them that fear Him. Psalm 31:20 speaks of the secret of His presence.  Psalm 91 mentions God’s secret place.  God is sexy.  I want to bring sexy back to those intimacy starved souls.  Where my Jesus freaks at?!  Come out of hiding.  Break out your scented candles.  Splash on some annointing oil.  Knock the dust off of your picnic blanket.  Read some Song of Solomon. I dare you to make love to God.   Make love to Him in new places.  Try outside, on an airplane (the Holy mile high club), in the bathroom at work or school, at a restuarant…etc.  Add some spice to your relationship (Just thinking about this puts me in the mood for some God lovin’.).

Where you go in life is determined by the intimate moments that you share with God, your Secret Lover.  The person whom you are most intimate with is the same person you will become most like.  Who’s your secret lover?  God is always yearning to be your Secret Lover.  Now, go make love with Him. 

Keep fighting for your dream!

The Pressures of Purpose Part III-Defying Darkness

I woke up one February morning crying.  The warm tears flowed like blood from my bleeding soul.  The weight of hopelessness bore on my chest like a menacing paper weight on a feeble piece of paper.  I whimper, “My God where are You?…why are You so far?…why can’t I hear You?…” My pillow is stained with the blood of agony. A homicide has been committed–death has murdered my dreams.  Death has stolen my joy.  Death has stolen my energy.  Death has stolen my passion. I sigh, “God, where are You?” His reply, “….”

Fellow Dreamers, I spent much of the first half of 2008 hiding an illness.  An illness of darkness that began to manifest itself in my health, relationships, and dreams.  I had experienced a plague of darkness much like that described in Exodus 10:21, “Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness will spread over Egypt—darkness that can be felt.” Picture that for a moment–darkness that can be felt.  Imagine night falling on you and attaching itself to every inch of your body.  Imagine the agony that Spiderman felt when the alien venom symbiote parasitically adjoined to him. 

Have you ever felt such darkness?  Are you experiencing darkness right now?  What is this counter life form darkness?  Those are some questions I will address in today’s post in the series Pressures of Purpose: Part III-Defying Darkness.

Darkness is a simple concept; it is the absence of light.  However, when you experience darkness, simple is not a word you would use to describe how it feels, nor the process of how to escape it.  Let me be blunt; darkness is a byproduct Satan’s dominion over the systems of this world (Ephesians 6:12).  When you are infected by the system, through choice or God’s sovereignty, it is the ultimate challenge to your destiny.  If you endeavor to fulfill your purpose, you have to defy darkness. 

When God allows you to be infected with darkness, He does it for three reasons: to deliver, direct, and disseminate.

God sent the plague of darkness to deliver the children of Israel from bondage in Egypt.  There are offenses in your past that have plagued your mind, especially those from your developmental years.  Just as God has a plan for your life, Satan has a plan to delay and derail God’s plan.  In my darkness, I discovered offenses from both preadolescent and adolescent years that were causing bad fruit to be produced in my life.  It is amazing how the human coping mechanism creates a concept of normalcy that is delinquent.  However, when God shows you how your thinking has been contrary to His word,  it will rattle your faith.  Thank God for his faithfulness  to de-liver you.  God gives you new liver during this process because the old one is obsolete. Allow me explain further.

In the human body, the liver is the largest organ in the body. We cannot live 24 hours without our liver. Its primary function is to detoxify the blood stream.  Hence, when God de-livers you, He is in the process of detoxifying things in your blood stream.  There are generational curses and habits that He is destroying right now.  The price thereof is forgiveness.  You have to forgive offenders and yourself.  You will get angry.  You will want revenge.  Resist the temptation to take matters into your own hands and express those feelings to God, maybe a counselor, and move forward. 

Secondly, God will direct you.  He will specifically direct you to a wilderness.  Exodus 5:3 records, “Then they said, ‘The God of the Hebrews has met with us. Now let us take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God, or he may strike us with plagues or with the sword.’” The wilderness does not sound like a fun place, but it is the training ground of all champions, Jesus being the ultimate example (I am working on a post to discuss Jesus wilderness experience).  The threefold purpose of the wilderness is to purify your heart, test and confirm your identity, and to prepare anointing for the Promised Land.  The key is the heart.  When your liver is not working properly, toxins get into your blood stream.  Within 30 minutes, your heart is exposed to those toxins.  Hence, your heart is infected with darkness.  Your passions then become polluted.  Eventually, you are led astray.  Note Proverbs 4:23, ”Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”  That is why God must first de-liver you, then direct you to the wilderness to purify your heart.  

Thirdly, God will disseminate anointing in and through your life.  When we destroy an illness in our body, antibodies are released.  Likewise, when God has delivered you and processed you in the wilderness, an anointing to fight for your dream like never before is released.  You will have a renewed passion for living and have discovered new passions and giftings.  Further, you will have a healing power (antibodies) to help others whom have experienced darkness.  This is the most fulfilling part of this process.  Truly it is better to give than receive.

In closing, some of you may be experiencing a seemingly unbearable plague of darkness right now.  It maybe due to hurt from a damaging childhood experience, a failed business, or the death of a relationship.  Whatever your situation, I implore you to take your focus off of yourself just for a moment. Think about the people whom experienced very similar tragedies as yourself and much worse.  For those whom been raped, sexually or domestically abused, think about the kids, spouses who will experience the same horror as you.  I know it hurts.  I know you’ve been victimized.  I know the pain is unspeakable.  As Jesus Christ lives, I personally know there is a balm in our Lord and Savior to heal the darkness.  Not only your darkness, but the darkness that plagues others.  I leave you with a very personal story: By the time I was 7 years old, I had been sexually abused and had full blown addiction to pornography. This plague of darkness followed me until I was 23 years old, when God delivered me from pornography addiction and strengthened me to be able to deal with the sexual abuse.  In March of 2006, I delivered my first sermon entitled, “Healing from the Deaf and Mute Spirit.” When I shared this testimony to an audience of teenagers and adult ministers, the silence over the room could be felt.  As I closed and opened the altar for prayer, I shrunk in the presence of God as He penetrated the cumulus clouds of darkness with His light of love and healing. One by one youth came to the altar in tears crying out to God.  Before long, most of the 100 or so youth had come to the altar for deliverance.  Even a middle aged man came to me in tears, embraced me, and cried out, “It happened to me to!” I humbly whispered a quick prayer over him.  That night was the culmination of defying darkness.  God diseminated His love and healing through me.  He wants to do the same with you.   

Defy the darkness and fight on for your dream.

 

Random Revelations in Europe

Traveling outside of North America for the first presented some challenges that I have never faced before. Challenges such as communication, currency, and culture. For instance, I bought pocket translations books, exchanged US dollars for Euros, and talked to people who had been to Europe in preparation for my trip. The Holy Spirit whispered a few profound revelations to me concerning moving upward in your purpose:

1. Whenever you want to go to a new place/level in life, you have to speak the language of the people who reside where you want to go, if you want to be successful. I researched different ways to learn a language. The best method, employed by Rosetta Stone, involves first an image, next its name, and then its sound. That is how God works. He gives us first an image (a dream or vision). Habakkuk 2 proclaims, “Write the Vision…” You cannot write the vision if you had not first seen it. Second, we have to name it. When you name your dream, then you are taking ownership of your dream so it can be called.  Habakkuk 2″ …so he who reads it can run with it.” We you speak about your dream, life is breathed into it and now action begins. When you talk like the people you want to be like, your actions have to change. “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” {Proverb 18:21}
2. When going to a new level, your values change. The dollar is weak right now, currently trading at $1.58 per 1 Euro. You have to exchange your currency. It is your values that determine the flow or current of your life.  Paul said, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, thought as a child, and understood as a child.  But, when I became a man, I put away childish things.” {I Corinthians 13:11-12}
3. When in Rome do what the Romans do.  Your destiny has a destination.  In this destination, there is a culture.  The only way to effectively change your culture is to indulge in the culture that you desire to have.  If you want to be an entrepreneur, then you need to hang around some entrepreneurs and be in the atmosphere of business.  Success has its own culture.  If you want to be successful, then hang around successful people.  This will require you to leave your comfort zone.  But there is such an excitement in learning new things and new ways of living.

Well, I am in Paris now. I just finished a boat tour that docked right in front of the Eiffel Tower.  Below is a picture.  I am wonder what revelations God will reveal during my last weekend in Europe.

Until next time, keep fighting for your dream!